Rahul — Codename: “Tiger” had finally made it into RAW. Training was done. A fake Pakistani ID was ready. His accent had been perfected by binge-watching Pakistani YouTube vlogs. His first mission was simple: sneak across the border into Lahore and gather secret intel. His heart pumped with excitement, and his mind kept chanting: “Mission must succeed, bro!”
The early morning border crossing went smoothly. Rahul was dressed to blend in perfectly—pathani suit, topi, and even a fake beard glued onto his face. Everything was going according to plan… until hunger struck.
He spotted a classic roadside chai tapri and thought, “Quick chai for energy, then mission mode.”
He walked up confidently and said in his best Pakistani accent:
“Assalamualaikum bhai jaan! One cutting chai… and bhaiya, scanner dena!”
The uncle behind the counter froze, teapot in hand.
“Scanner? What scanner, beta? Aadhaar card scan karna hai kya?”
Rahul’s heart skipped a beat. Oh no. In India, everyone says “scanner” for UPI QR code payments. But here? Cash or JazzCash. It was a total slip-up.
He switched into quick recovery mode.
“Arre nahi uncle, scanner nahi… samosa! Samosa dena!”
The uncle laughed.
“Okay, samosa coming. But what’s with the ‘bhaiya’? Here we say ‘bhai jaan’!”
Rahul thought he was still safe. Then, feeling extra hungry, he added:
“Janab, one plate biryani too. Hyderabadi style, extra spicy!”
The plate arrived. Rahul took a big bite and, in pure excitement, blurted out:
“Wow re wow! This tastes exactly like Indian Hyderabadi biryani! I mean… Pakistani Hyderabadi… same same but different!”
The entire tapri went silent. One old uncle stared at him.
“Beta, what’s this ‘wow re wow’? And that accent… you’re straight out of a Bollywood movie!”
Sweat started pouring. Rahul pulled out his phone to send intel… but accidentally turned the volume all the way up. His ringtone blasted: “Jai Ho” from Slumdog Millionaire.
Everyone reacted instantly.
“Arre, that’s an Indian ringtone!”
Rahul panicked and jumped up to run—but the uncle grabbed his arm.
“Ruk beta! Spy ho kya? Chill, finish the biryani first. It’s on the house—even our spies don’t get biryani this good!”
Rahul broke down.
“Uncle, sorry… I’m not a spy!”
Big twist incoming…
The uncle burst out laughing.
“We know, beta! You’re a tourist, right? Came on visa, Googled this tapri. All Indian tourists say ‘scanner dena’ for payment and order biryani like it’s a secret code. Relax—take a selfie, post it on Insta: ‘Day 1 in Pakistan as Tourist Gone Viral’!”
Rahul finished the biryani, clicked pictures with the uncles, and headed back to India. The mission wasn’t failed—because there was no mission. He was just an over-excited tourist inspired by Dhurandhar movie hype, trying to “play spy” for fun.
Moral of the story: If you want to be a spy, first ditch your UPI habits and Bollywood accent… or you’ll get caught on Day 1 while ordering biryani like a pro.
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